Love in Denial
by Aeius
Summary: Lavi x Allen equals Laven fic. Being a successor of Bookman, one has no need for a heart. Lavi refuses that he's in love with Allen. Yet like they say, love prevails. That is, maybe. What would Lavi choose? Bookmanship? Or Allen Walker? Discontinued.
1. Feeling

**A/N: **I'm back in typing fics once again. And now, I dedicate this fic to my dearest shistah who always RP with me. :)) Lavi POV. And yes, the title says it all. Let's start torturing our precious main character in this fanfiction story, shall we?

**Pairing:** Lavi x Allen Laven and spread the Lavilove! (throws flower petals in the air)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own DGM or its characters but could I have Lavi all to myself? (pouts) Just kidding! xD

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Chapter 1

Define the saying of, "_I love you_"?

It is when a person says these three words towards the one he/she loves most, therefore expressing their love to them. First enters admiration, then the next confession, then the feeling of aphrodisiacs. Some say love is such a precious gift and people always say how sweet the emotion is. And what does a certain red-headed person, such as myself, think about this?

"I think it's stupid and ridiculous." I blurted out loud.

A sigh came from the old man and the next thing I knew was an impact, not to mention _painful_, was received on my already aching head, "Itai! What was that for?!" I shouted angrily back at the stupid _panda_.

"For being an idiot." The old man replied, I gave out a grumble for the insult, "Lavi, haven't you ever heard of these sayings?"

I gave out a snort, "The only sayings I _heard _them is from the books you showed me when I was a kid." It was true that I never did experience saying those '_I love you_' stuffs. I know that kids always tell their moms and dads how much they love them but I never get the chance to say those things. Even when Gramps took me in, I never remembered what my real parents look like. No memories at all.

But besides that, I seem to recall the time when I had a mission with Allen. It was the time when we first met Krory-chan who was still living in his vampiric-like haunted castle. Even if he was a vampire, I am _so not afraid_ of them, seriously. Anyway, we had to deal with these man-eating carnivore monsters. I was sort of in a pickle at that time since I wasn't fond of plants but luckily, Allen was able to come up with a plan. I was surprised when he told me that we had to say how much we love those devour cannibal creatures. Thinking about it gave me the shudders and yet, when I heard Allen's voice saying those (even if it was in a hurry manner) words, I began to find him somewhat attractiv- Woah. Wait a moment. What am I saying- no what am I thinking?

"Look Lavi, you're the 49th Bookman so you must understand this certain things. Even if the things I taught you, look useless you- Are you even listening to what I'm saying?!"

My eyes or rather my only left eye continued to draft over the book which was given to me. Seems like he noticed I wasn't listening to one of his lectures again. Talk about boredom, I wasn't in the mood to be lectured, "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say panda old ma-"

Another smack or rather a kick on my head.

After a few mutters and trying to rub off the sore bruise on my poor head, I stood up from my seat and grabbed what I was reading and was about to head off. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Someplace…where I can read quietly." I replied, not looking back at him.

* * *

"Ah, finally!" I stretched both of my arms as I sat down on the couch. The library was the perfect place where no one would bother a good-ol' Lavi! I gave out a sheepish grin to nobody but to myself. Everyone in the Black Order was too busy with their missions lately so no one was hanging about here. Komui seems to be not giving me missions lately, which is good since all I want is to relax from hunting Innocence and Akumas.

As I was about to continue in reading my favorite chapter, a certain someone with white hair caught my eye. Wait- Someone with white hair? "A-Allen?" I said just for him to hear.

True enough, the said person turned and saw me, "Oh, Lavi. What're you doing here?" He approached me, "Is this seat vacant?" Allen pointed.

"N-No! I mean, go ahead. Sit." I watched him as he sat before me. Damn it! Why do I begin to feel uneasy around him? "Uh, I haven't been sent on a mission so I'm just taking a break for now." I tried to give out a smile but I felt my cheeks twitching, which made me feel like an idiot. "So uh, how about you?"

He gave out a sigh, "Same. Kanda and Lenalee are out on a mission. Krory, Miranda and well, mostly everyone has gone out. But it's strange for Komui not to be giving me missions lately." Allen paused, "Hey what're you reading?" His azure eyes gazed at the book held in my hand.

"Oh, this? It's nothing. Just some dumb fiction book about some stupid crazy couple falling in love and such."

Suddenly, he grabbed the book from my hand and started flicking through the pages, "It doesn't look dumb to me. I think it's interesting when one's fallen for someone he/she likes. Don't you think?" With that, he gave me a smile.

Before I could reply, both of our eyes met. A tingling feeling filled inside me. The way he looked at me made me feel so soft and his smile, it was so gentle. I stared at him and my mind was too occupied in describing his beauty.

"Ah, sorry but excuse me Allen! I-uh, I gotta go!" I stood up quickly and ran away from him.

"O-Oi Lavi?"

I could still hear his voice, that sweet tender tone in how he said my name. "Ah, crap!" Major nosebleed ran down my nose. I wiped them off but the image of Allen was still running in my brain. Stupid brain! The more I thought of that moyashi (nickname copyrighted from Yu Kanda), the louder my heart beat became.

And the last thought that came to me was, _I think I'm in __**lov**__iflsdfjkd with Allen Walker._

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Note to self, never say the word **lov**skfjsfjk. _

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_TBC._**

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**Lero:** I'm sorry but Author-tama has requested me to end this chapter Lero! The first chapter of Love in Denial! Reviews will be appreciated and will help Author-tama to update Lero! Till next time!


	2. Care

**A/N:** Hello dear readers! Chapter 2 is finally updated. I wasn't really sure whether I shoud post this or not. I think I made Lavi OOC. (cries) Now about the story, I accidentally made Lavi beginning to lovgkfok Allen so it seems kindna straightforward and I hope there's no problem with that. But I have a plan in mind so it might take a while since I'll have to think it over carefully.

And also, I wanna say thank you all for the wonderful reviews, favorites and those who read and also alerted this story. Brownies will be given to you all. (smiles) And special thanks to Zeriku who helped me in editing. (hugs) Go visit her story of LID: Allen POV.

**Disclaimer:** Katsura Hoshino is the owner and maker of DGM while I am nothing but a humble DGM fan who wish to have a Lavi plushie.

_Word_- Thoughts or dreams

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Chapter 2

I bolted up, wide-eyed. I grasped my chest and continued panting heavily. My face was sweaty. I looked around and saw that I was still in my room. I sighed in relief. My dream... no, more like a nightmare, I corrected myself, felt so real.

I shuddered. It was rather unforgettable and…disturbing, _really disturbing _indeed. I remember being inside a church and I saw someone standing before the altar.

"_Who are you_?" I asked, approaching the person. No answer. I was already near and saw right before me was…

"_Allen?_"

He turned and smiled at me. I continued to stare at him, he was wearing a tuxedo suit and he held out his hand to me. "_Shall we, Lavi?_"

Engulfed by disbelief, I was about to walk away from him when I noticed _what I was wearing_. I stopped in recalling what I dreamt. I'd rather not have myself think about it. It made my mind run like crazy. I shuddered again, disgust welling up within me.

I clapped my hands to my face and gave out a hearty laugh, "How silly of me! Trying to fuss over a ridiculous fantasy." I stood up and walked towards the window. It was a beautiful morning. The sky beamed with the sun's brightness. It was a new day. A new day of missions, that is.

I rubbed off the sand from my eye and yawned. My stomach suddenly grumbled, "I guess it's time for me to grab breakfast."

I took a quick shower, changed into my uniform and when I was already finished, I strolled myself out of my room and down the hallway.

* * *

"Now what should I get for breakfast…" I muttered. After a minute or so, I finally reached the source for my hunger, the cafeteria. I entered and saw that it was already packed with exorcists, finders and sorts.

"Ah, Lavi-kun." I turned and saw Jerry, the one who is in charge of the place and might I add, a great cook, "What shall I make for you today?"

Grabbing a tray, I grinned, "The usual."

"Of course!" And at that, he left and I waited. _Man I'm bored…and hungry._ I flinched in surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Only to realize that it was Lenalee, Komui's little sister and someone who I find rather cute, behind me.

I regained my posture and rubbed the back of my head, "Oh, hey Lenalee-chan!"

"Hey, Lavi-kun!" She beamed, "How was your non-mission time yesterday?"

"It was fine, I guess." I smiled back. _Lenalee-chan is so pretty. But why does she have to be Komui's sibling._ I sniffled at that thought.

I stared at Lenalee. It seemed that she was thinking of something important, "Ah! Now I remember!" I raised an eyebrow, "Weren't you and Allen, the only ones who had free time yesterday?" I tensed when she pointed at me, "Nii-san told me, he had to give you two a rest from the missions."

"Oh? Allen didn't have missions too?" I looked away from Lenalee and felt my cheeks becoming warm when I recalled the time when Allen and I were at the library, "I-I didn't know. I was with Gramps the whole day." I lied, _sort of_. I should be ashamed from mankind for being deceitful towards a cute chick. _Lavi, you stupid asshole, you don't deserve to be cared for. Why did I say that to her anyway? _I could feel my ego crying.

Lenalee replied, "Oh I see."

"Here's your order!"

I grabbed my food hastily and bid Lenalee with a see you later gesture. It was time for me to scavenge for a vacant table. And luckily, I found the perfect place but only one person was occupying it.

"Yo, Yu-chan!" I greeted, getting his attention only to end up being glared and ignored. I smirked. He knew that I ruined his silent time of being alone from the rest of the world and he also wished I died. Seriously, why does he have to be so cynical? I thank my oh-so called psychic instincts. "Mind if I seat with you?"

No reply from the now-annoyed samurai.

I placed my tray on the table and took a seat, "Thanks, Yu! Huh? What's tha-! O-Oi Yu! Put that thing away!" I stood up abruptly, only to end up falling off of my seat. Kanda, who stood before me, glared as he aimed his sword, Mugen, at me.

"Don't you call me by that name, idiot usagi." He neared the edge of Mugen to my face. Unexpectedly interrupting our commotion, a crimson familiar-like hand appeared and held the handle of the sword. "I would put that down if I were you, Kanda."

Kanda scowled at Allen who glowered back, "Che." Without saying a word, Kanda left the two of us.

Allen heaved out a sigh, "You okay, Lavi?" He offered out his hand to me.

I hesitated at first but I took it willingly, "Yeah, t-thanks." _Never piss Yu when he's in a cranky mood._ All of a sudden, I winced painfully.

"What's wrong?" Allen peered at my face, "Lavi! Yo-You're bleeding!"

"Eh? I am?" I placed my hand on the side of my cheek and wiped off a red liquid.

"Now Lavi, let's go to the infirmary calmly and then we'll-"

"Gah! I'm bleeding! Allen! I'm too young to die! I can't die yet! There are still many things I wanna do!" I waved my arms frantically midair.

* * *

After many random protests of mine and not to mention my cheek bleeding, we were able to reach the clinic with Allen accompanying me.

"Itai!" I cried aloud.

The nurse, not to mention scary and ugly, glared at me as she treated the wound from my face, "Hold still!"

Allen who was from a distance, looked at the scene whether he should be amused or embarrassed. After the nurse tended me, he approached us with a worried look on his face, "Nurse, is he gonna be okay?"

"He will. It was only a small cut so he'll be damn fine." We both watched her leave.

I rubbed the cloth-like bandage on my face. _Damn stupid nurse, she reminds me of Yu_. "Okay Allen, let's get going and eat breakfast, shall we?" I paused and stared at the white-haired boy, "Allen?"

The said person held his hand on his mouth and stifled but he burst out laughing. _Wait, he's laughing…?_ "Wha-What's so funny?" I stared at him oddly.

"It's no-nothing." He paused trying to catch up his breath through his nonstop chortle, "Well, it's just…it's just that, I thought you were always valiant but I can't help myself thinking that you were like a crybaby back there."

I frowned at him, "A crybaby? Me? I'll have you know that I am no crybaby Allen. I was…devastated at what happened awhile ago. It came so fast."

"Alright, alright, no need to get so mad Lavi. I didn't mean to insult you." He gave out an apologetic smile which I slowly felt relaxed, "Sorry about that." He bowed before me.

I sighed and scratched the side of head, "You don't have to be so polite. It's fine so you don't need to bow when you apologize."

Allen looked at me, surprised at what I said, "But I-" Suddenly, a grumble was heard from his stomach. Both of us fell into an awkward silence.

I sniggered, "It looks like someone hasn't also eaten breakfast yet." I said in a sing-song voice. I grabbed his hand and began to drag him, "Let's hurry to the cafeteria and eat already."

"Uh…okay." Allen replied in a soft tone.

I looked back at him and smiled. Before I turned away, I could've sworn there was a faint red from his face when I faced him. Thinking it was nothing, I decided to shake that thought out of my head.

_**  
TBC**_

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**Lavi:** (looks at script and whistles) That's one long chapter. (grabs a brownie and munches on it)

**Allen:** Uh, Lavi, shouldn't you end this chapter? And where on earth did you get that brownie? (points)

**Lavi:** Oh I found it, a whole plate of them actually. (hands out a plate of brownies) Here, you can have some. There's still more.

**Allen:** (twitches nervously) You know that belongs to Author-sama and those brownies were for the readers. She'll skin you alive when she finds out that you took her brownies.

**Lavi: **(shrugs) She won't. (faces readers) Author-sama wants to say thank you for reading. Any comments, critiques, review sharing your thoughts about the story will be appreciated. Chapter 3 would go underway.

**Allen:** (sighs) You're hopeless. (looks at readers) R&R (smiles).


	3. Reminiscence

**A/N:** Chapter 3 updated (prances around room happily)! I should seriously update some of my drawings, though I can't seem to stop writing fiction stories. Oh well, I think I'm gonna draw a Lavi and Allen tribute when I have free time.

Do forgive me if there are any grammar errors, I type everything what my brain imagines…so there. Oh and for those who love Kanda, please don't get mad at me. I'm still not sure how to type in his character. I tried. (weeps into a corner)

And also, I would like to thank you all for the wonderful comments and to those who read this story! I seem to remember something…if you'll excuse me… (brings out_** ultimate omega weapon 2**_) Fufufu…(runs off).

**Disclaimer:** I…am sad to say that I do not own the lines from the manga and anime of D. Gray-Man including the said show. (weeps into a corner…again)

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**Chapter 3**

I rubbed my now-fully fed stomach. Awhile ago, I couldn't help myself in watching Allen chew down his food so quickly. In a matter of second, Allen was able to finish his meal before I could even start with mine. When Allen was done, he excused himself and said something about attending some meeting and bid me goodbye. So I let him and was left alone at that. That boy is such a glutton.

After I was done with my meal, I wandered down the empty corridor all alone._ I'd better find Gramps quick. He'll have a fit when he sees me late._ I turned to a corner and saw the said _panda _waiting for me and noticing my arrival.

"Yo Gramp-" A flying-kick attack came. I ended up falling down on the ground.

Flaring daggers were given to me, "You, incompetent stupid little greenhorn! You're late! You were supposed to meet me here two hours ago!"

Despite the fact that Gramps was always this mean, harsh, strict, old-fashioned to me, he's still a good man. I mean, he did raise me up as his apprentice and even if he didn't expose his love for me, I still find him like my own grandfather but there are times when we argue and squabble at each other such as what we're doing right now. I glared at him, "Gramps at a time like this…Why must you always harass me whenever I do something wrong?"

"The reason why I try to discipline you…is that you still act immaturely! Even if you're the next successor of Bookman, you still have a lot to learn, you good for nothin' apprentice of mine…"

Heaving out a sigh, I stood up and rubbed off some dust off my pants. "What on earth happened to your face boy?" I tensed. _Ah crap. I forgot about that. _I felt Gramps' hand rubbing the bandage that was plastered on my face.

I backed away from him, "Uh, this? It's…nothing, Gramps. Just a scratch." I smiled to reassure him that I was fine.

He looked at me curiously and grunted. "Alright…Let's proceed to Komui's office then." And with a nod, both of us headed towards the said location.

I placed my arms behind my head with the old man by my side. He brought out a pipe and a match and lighted it. Placing the smoking device between his lips, he heaved and exhaled out of his mouth a hazy smoke. Gramps and I didn't bother talking ever since we strolled off. It really didn't bother me since all I wanted was a quiet time without the old man annoying me to death. As we were finally close to the office, I stopped and blinked. There seems to be a crowd of people gathered at the entrance and some of them were people whom I recognized.

"Would you quit calling me _moyashi_? How many times do I have to tell you that my name's Allen?! Not moyashi! BaKanda!" Allen cried out to Kanda's ear.

Not too mention the commotion that's taking place._ So Allen and Yu-chan is joining in the meeting too._

Kanda glowered at him, "Would you mind zipping up that loud mouth of yours? What makes you think that I would let you order me around? And...besides, you're nothing but someone who is cursed. Idiot moyashi…" Sharp eyes glared at azure ones. Allen balled up his left hand into a fist.

"Yo Yu-chan, Allen!" I waved my hand towards them. One look at the two, glaring, I shuffled a far-distance from them. The atmosphere began to be filled with unpleasant auras. I could've sworn Gramps muttered _idiot_ under his breathe. It looks like I happened to be the only one to ruin the moment.

Kanda clicked his tongue in irritation and walked away from Allen. Knowing Yu, he probably wanted to stay somewhere where he could put his mind at ease. As he passed by my left side and gazed at me, there was something in those monotonous eyes of his.

Abruptly, my attention was caught by cerulean orbs. Allen eyed at me in silence. It's as if he was saying that I shouldn't have interrupted them. The look from Allen made me feel guilty. It felt like a weight fell heavily on my head. "Allen…I…"

"Allen-kun?" Said person whipped his head, facing at the one who called him, Lenalee who approached with a tray of mugs that sent out a fresh aroma of coffee.

"Lenalee…" Allen smiled at her. A mug was given to him.

"Here have some coffee." She offered.

Allen stared at the coffee and at the one before him. He took the cup keenly, "Uh…thank you." The girl faced me, "You can have some too, Lavi." She beamed as she gave me a drink.

* * *

The five of us were already gathered inside the messed-up office of the supervisor. Komui Lee, the one in charge of the Dark Order and might I mention, Lenalee's big brother, didn't bother tidying up his office as usual. The place was still unkempt and no one seemed to be willing in cleaning things up. Hasn't Komui ever tried looking at the dictionary? The word, _**clean**_? Most of us were slight disgusted at the sight but we never bothered complaining.

All of us stared at the slumbering director before us. Head covered under his arms and the faint sound of snoring could be heard. Reever Wenham, the section leader of the headquarters' Science department, shook his head and approached beside Komui. He lowered his head and whispered something about Lenalee and Allen's name being mentioned in Komui's ear.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

"Lenalee!!" Komui screeched as tears ran out of his eyes. He hugged firmly his so called little sister, "How could you do this to your dear brother?! Why must you have affection towards Allen-kun?! Why?! Why?!"

Lenalee gave her brother a punch in the face. Probably knocking out a tooth or two.

* * *

"A mission?" I asked towards Komui Lee.

Komui was a great leader (that is whenever something important situations comes up) though there were times, he would show off his wacky-self and lets himself be stupidly carefree towards us. He always invents some whacked-up robot creations for the sake of the organization. It made us wonder how he was chosen as supervisor.

"Yes." Komui replied, holding an ice pack against his cheek. His narrow spectacles gave off a sheer glow, "There seems to be an abandon mine in a town which finders claim that there's a presence of an innocence fragment hidden deep within."

"Our finders were able to interview some of the people who lived in the town nearby and most of those who answered were the miners." Reever stated, bringing out a folder and began to read the papers that were clipped, "Our men were informed of an eerie sighting inside the mine. They decided to investigate inside the place but none of them were able to return."

Lenalee who stood beside me, looked at Komui, "Brother, do you think akumas are roaming about? The disappearance of our finders seems to be the work of akumas."

Komui rubbed the temple of his forehead, "I can't say but it may be possible that these are their doings." He stood up from his seat and pointed his finger at us, "Which is why I'm assigning you, three, on this mission. Try and find out whether or not there is an innocence loitering about. As soon as you embark, I'll give you further instructions. So best of luck and do come back alive!" He smiled with a glint of mischief and everyone stared at him awkwardly, "You are all dismissed."

* * *

The shrill sound of the train whistle echoed outside. The train slowly began to move. Sliding open the compartment door, the three of us entered. I took a seat right next to the window with Allen beside me and was close to the door. As for Kanda, he sat across from us.

I shifted my gaze at the window. Watching the train bustling down the road, the view of the canopy could already be seen.

The three of us sat in silence. Kanda placed his cheek on the palm of his hand. He seemed to be relaxed without anyone bothering him. Allen had his arms folded over his chest, his sight focused at the empty seat in front of him. I gaped at both of them, seeing how quiet we were ever since we entered the train. Too quiet, perhaps.

_This is gonna be one long mission…_ I gave out a silent moan.

Unexpectedly, Allen stood up from his spot and walked towards the door. I averted myself from the windowpane, "Allen? Where you going?"

The fifteen-year old boy returned a smile, "Don't worry, I just wanted to take a short walk and have some fresh air. I won't be long." At that, before I could answer him, the door closed. I was cut off in saying something, once again.

I scratched my head, "Oi Yu-chan…" I looked up at him, "Have you noticed…Allen's acting strange?"

"Che. Why should I care?" Yu grunted, "Besides, that idiot can take care of himself…"

Crossing my arms, I shook my head, "I know, I know. I was just wondering. You don't have to be such a grump Yu-Yu."

"Call me by that name and I'll distort that head of yours…" He said in a threatening voice.

I felt his malevolent force emitting out of him. I shuddered, "O-Okay…"

After time has passed, the train continued to move and we were still far away from our destination. Yu and I sat in our compartment without making any noise at all. I was already fed up in letting my eyes stare at the scenery and I wasn't willing to make a _friendly _conversation with hot-headed Yu again. And Allen…well he hasn't come back yet.

"Allen is sure taking his time…He shouldn't have gotten lost. Can he?" Yu didn't answer. I rose up from my seat, "Yu, I'll be right back. I'm gonna go and look for him."

No reply came again. I exited our compartment and ended up in a small carpeted hallway. Looking from left to right, I decided to check out the left._ I was sure Allen went this way…_ I opened the door, leading outside, and was about to head off the next carriage when I noticed a black cape flapping against the wind on top of the roof.

_Allen?_

I climbed up the mini ladder and true enough my theory was right. He was just sitting there, his knees being clutched to his chest and his eyes were preoccupied in watching the view of the sky, "Oi moyashi…" I sat right next to him.

Allen jolted in surprise as he saw me, "Lavi? What're you doing here?"

"Looking for you. So this is where you've been…" Everything was much better here rather than being cooped up inside. My eyes wandered at the site, "You know that you're not supposed to be here. Yu was worried about you." I grinned at him.

Allen scoffed, "As if Kanda was like that…" He rolled his eyes.

"So what're you doing out here?"

"No reason. I just felt like it…" He reverted back his gaze. The two of us enjoyed the moment in silence, "You know, Lavi…while I was out here all alone, I kept thinking about the things we encountered back then…"

"Like…what?" I asked, warily.

Allen gave off a slight shrug, "Oh you know, the Millenium Earl…the fight we had with the Noah clan…everything that has happened towards us."

I smirked. The memory still runs through my thoughts. I know that what happened back then is just...history. So I erased it away. I decided to pretend I still remember even though I slightly do, "Aa. How could I forget…"

The train continued to chug down the railway. The breeze flapped our hair in a messy way but we weren't bothered. We continued to enjoy ourselves by gazing at the view serenely.

"Allen." "Lavi." We both said in unison. We looked at each other, surprisingly.

"You first." I gestured awkwardly.

Allen shook his head, "No, you go." He insisted.

I scratched my head in embarrassment, "Well, I know this would sound stupid but…I wanted to ask…if…if you're mad at me…?"

Allen made a sincere chuckle. I stared at him. He always gives off a laugh whenever he hangs out with me. I suppose he enjoys the moment with me as company. "Why would I be mad at you? If I'm mad at you…then shouldn't I be not talking to you?"

_He's got a point._ I was about to tell him about the incident of him and Yu back at the headquarters but I decided not to bother, "Uh…never mind! Just curious, that's all." I laughed uneasily.

And then we were already enveloped with silence.

"Umm…Lavi, may I ask you something?" Allen stated out of the blue.

"What is it?"

The white-haired boy hesitated at first but then he exhaled out a deep sigh, "…You're a Bookman, right…?" I nodded sluggishly, "Well, I was wondering…what does it feels like to be…like one?"

Hearing the question made me tensed. _Why did Allen ask such a question?_ "W-What do you mean…by that?" I wanted to change the topic but I couldn't think of any at the moment.

"I know that you remembered the time we fought off Road…You were out of control at that time. I…" Allen paused, "Me and Lenalee thought you were a goner…"

"Well…" I pondered over my thoughts, "I'm alive, aren't I?"

Allen moved his head side-to-side, "I know that…It's just that…"

I stared at Allen, but I can't seem to hear the words he was mouthing out. I was about to call out to him but no sound came out of me. The sound of the train's bustling became soft until nothing was heard. The landscape slowly began to fade into darkness. Allen turned to me. He mouthed '_Lavi'_ as I felt myself drifting away from him. From the place we where sitting. From the train we were riding. From the world. From everything.

I was overcome by grief. It felt like I was…dying…

_  
Lavi…Can't you hear… my voice?_

My eyes opened wide-eyed. Allen was already shaking my shoulder and had a worried look on his face, "Lavi, you alright?"

Rubbing my head, a throbbing pain shot inside me. I eased it without letting Allen notice, "Y-Yeah…I'm fine."

He gave off a sigh of relief, "Ah…you had me scared back there." A silence was hung at a moment, "You suddenly got quiet…and looked uneasy…"

"Oh, really…?" I asked, unsurely, "I didn't notice." I gave out an edgy laugh.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Allen eyed me with a hint of concern. I prevented myself to look at him as a warm feeling overcame me, "Really…I said I'm fine, moyashi."

I felt a dreaded punch struck on my head. I could've sworn Allen muttered out while gritting his teeth; "The name's Allen. Idiot Lavi."

The only thought that was running through my head was that Allen and Yu-chan have the same anger issues.

* * *

A menacing shriek resonated. Facing behind me, a revolting spider-like creature was heading towards me. Its long slender legs moved rapidly with its hideous mask, though I wasn't sure if I could call it a face. The beast displayed its razor-sharp jaws, hoping to devour some human flesh and blood.

"You'Re MiNe ExoRcist!"

"Sorry, not interested." I gripped the metal handle of my hammer and activated my innocence. Emitted white emblems encircled around me and slowly, it came to a halt, revealing a fire sign. I swung my weapon with all my might. Hitting the symbol, blazes of fire emerged. I pointed my finger at the grotesque fiend, making the flames striking it. It screeched in pain as it was being scorched and then little by little, it faded into ashes. A silvery sphere drew out and faded away. I knew that I was able to release the trapped soul in its hell-like prison and now it can finally have its rest peacefully in the depths of heaven.

Another ghastly howl came. "Damn it! Komui was right about these stupid akumas! They keep on multiplying!" I called out.

"Stop with your damn complaints, stupid usagi! Just kill them off!" Yu's voice echoed from my left, "Oi! Stupid moyashi! You're in the way!"

"For the last time, my name's Allen!" At that, an explosion was heard. _Looks like Yu-chan just ticked Allen off. _I snickered and continued slaying more enemies.

It's not my fault that I'm an exorcist. Actually, all of us that were assigned in the mission and are currently in battle are exorcists. Everyone was exorcists, one who exterminates demons and the restless souls within them. We were here because we wish to serve God. As for me, I'm not even sure if I should call myself one since me and Gramps only joined the organization to be used as **soldiers**.

We did it for the sake of doing our duties as Bookman.

_  
What does it feels like to be…like one?_

The reason why we're here is to record histories.

_You know things that no one knows…_

Histories that was drenched in the writings of war, pain and sovereignty of society. Past events that we encountered. Every incident that occurred, we record every single detail of it.

_You are the successor of Bookman and nothing else._

It was what we always do. It was what we live for. That was the true life of a Bookman.

_A Bookman has no need for a heart…_

_La…_

_La…vi…_

_Lavi…_

Lavi…

"Lavi! Look out!" I snapped out of my thoughts.

_Shit!_ An akuma was already heading straight for me. _How could I've caught myself off guard?!_ I was about to shield myself with my hammer but the creature moved too quickly. The sounds began to gradually fade away. I could feel my heart throbbing uneasily. _I'm not gonna make i-!_ Its claw was about to strike me when suddenly, I was shoved aside and I felt myself hitting the ground. My body ached at the impact of sitting in a forceful way but I decided to ease it.

My left eye darted towards my side. I felt something trickled on my face. The sight bit by bit shocked me, "Allen!"

**  
**_**TBC**_

**

* * *

**

**Allen: **(heaves out a sigh) Finally, finished with this chapter.

**Lavi:** (appears out of nowhere) Yo moyashi!

**Allen:** It's Allen! (pauses) Ah, Lavi! (brings out a package) This is for you. (smiles)

**Lavi:** A present for me? (takes it and began to open it) Who is it from?

**Allen:** (shrugs) Don't know.

**Lavi:** Agh! It's…It's-!

**Allen:** A man-eating plant? Didn't we encounter one of this at Krory's place? And it's…white?

**Lavi:** Agghhhh! (struggles towards plant) Allen! Help me! Saying I love you isn't working!

**Allen:** (shakes head) That's strange. It was supposed to calm down… (runs off towards Lavi)

**Lenalee:** (appears out of nowhere) Poor Lavi-kun. (sweatdrops) (faces readers) Sorry about that but Author-sama wanted me to send it to him. That's what Lavi-kun gets for eating the brownies. And Author-sama would like to thank **nataeiy1**'s review, for giving her an idea. Anyone willing to help in guessing what Lavi-kun should say? (giggles) Feel free to share your reviews! Author-sama would be so happy! So thank you for those who read and support LID!


	4. Unexplained

**A/N:** I feel so bad lately, I deserve to be punished. I'm finally able to update this story and I feel so bad in sort of abandoning it which is bad and evil and…bad. And to further the bad news, I'm ending Lavi's P.O.V.

I guess doing first person is not my thing. Oh well, I'm sorry to those who supported this and well, due to long un-update started to forget about this.

**Disclaimer:** D. Gray-man is on hiatus again but I still don't own.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"_Lavi! Look out!"_

Allen saw an akuma that was already heading straight for the red-headed exorcist. It raised its claw, charging towards the young Bookman. Allen knew that it would be too late if he doesn't do something. He saw the soul emerged out of the akuma with the doing of his cursed eye. Bounded by its chains, the entrapped essence gave out a deadly screech while his other normal sight saw Lavi stunned and not being able to move. Without a second thought, dark boots quickly dashed towards the one in danger.

And after a few moments, he felt pain as the sharp spikes gushed right through his abdomen. Allen clutched the wound and struck his innocence against the demon. He was able to counterattack and able to defeat it. His _eye_ watched as the chains broke into pieces, freeing the pain from the dead one and finally fading away, whispering back to him _"Thank you."_

_"Allen!"_

Everything around him disappeared into pure darkness.

* * *

Komui walked out of his office with a gleeful smile on his face and practically skipped down the hallway. Everyone was busy with papers that were filed up on their desk except for him. Such a genius he was, leaving all his paperwork on the desk. On Reever's, that is.

"Are? Bookman, it's strange for you to be around here." Said Komui as he approached the old man with a pipe held in hand. "I thought you were busy finishing up your records."

"I decided to take a rest for awhile." Smoke puffed out of the Bookman's lips. "He's out on a mission, isn't he?"

"Who? Lavi?"

"No." Bookman turned to Komui, "I actually meant the other one. The boy who is known as the _Destroyer of Time_."

"Oh…Allen." Komui folded his arms across his chest, "Well, yes. I already sent him out with Kanda and Lavi."

"I see." He heaved on the end of his pipe and let out another huff. "Komui, I want to discuss a personal matter with you at once." Bookman paused in silence before continuing, "This issue has crossed my mind lately and I believe that I'm quite sure explaining the whole affair would clear things up a bit."

"Alright and what would that be?"

Bookman kept away his pipe and stared back at Komui, "I may warn you before I begin that discussing this subject might change _our_ situation, mostly Lavi's."

* * *

The fire cackled silently before him. Lavi sighed and lay back on the ground with his arms supporting his head. He slight turned his head from his left, seeing the white-haired exorcist with eyes closed. He and Kanda were able to deal with the rest of the akumas but as for, Allen…

Lavi felt guilty for it was his fault that Allen got hurt. He didn't know why he suddenly thought about the idea of _Bookman_ and what the panda old man said to him. The question even Allen asked mixed inside of him.

_Why?_ _Like a Bookman…  
_

Why would Allen ask such a thing? Well, Lavi knew that others already thought of him and Bookman being unexplained. Being a Bookman was something hard to converse about.

Standing up from his position, Lavi headed towards the lone samurai who was holding out his Mugen. Kanda seem to inspect that hoping there were no scratch or any damage happened to it.

"Can't sleep, Yu?" The man turned to him but looked away. "I guess we're the same." He sat in front of Kanda. "I hope we get back to headquarters soon when Allen wakes. I'm gonna get a hit from the old man after this."

"Tch. You sound worried." Kanda stood up from his seat and exited the cave, leaving Lavi with a questioned look.

_**  
TBC**_

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**A/N: **I did this in a rush so yeah, it's short but I need to go and study now. (Gets kicked) Some reviews would be nice. (Innocent eyes) Thanks to those who read, faved and reviewed this.


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